1/29/07

Did better with eating yesterday, and even better today. Made some good snacking choices, both calorie and content-wise.

Did tone and tighten today. We did the stairs, and then an overall body work-out. I had a feeling we'd do the stairs, and I prayed to have a good attitude and not grumble. Do I like doing the stairs? NO. Am I grateful that I can? YES. Lots of people would love to be healthy and able to move. I'm glad I can see improvement in my abilities. So buck up and do the stairs, whiner!

1/27/07

Did 20 minutes on the cross-trainer Thursday, on interval mode. Took yesterday off. Had lunch with my friend Kim. Took yesterday off from careful eating, too. Intentionally. And enjoyed it. I'm back to careful eating today, and enjoying that, too!

1/24/07

334.1!!!!!

I was NOT expecting an (almost) 3lb loss when I got on the scales this morning. I was actually expecting a gain, but hoping for a push. But I was wildly surprised. It must be the working out; I know my eating wasn't very good for 3 days in a row. Very cool.

What was not so cool is my blood sugar. I've periodically been testing my fasting blood sugar. Today it was 147 or so. Not good. I tested it again about 2 hours after breakfast, and it was 176. Which isn't too bad if you're diabetic, but since I'm not, it was lousy. I'm headed in the right direction: eating smaller portions, exercising, losing weight. But my favorite foods are carbohydrates. And I need to eat less and better of them. Sean's blood sugar is bad too; he has an appointment to see the doctor about it next month. So I'm going to start working on healthier choices, and hope that my choices will influence his.

Speaking of influencing one another, Sean did me a big favor last night. At dinner, I asked if he would get me some more potato chips (see, carbs; yummy!). He said no. More chips would not get me to 40 by 40. And he was right. And I needed that voice of reason right then. I told him several times that he was right and that I was grateful. I'm responsible for my own choices, but it is nice to have help when you need it.

I did 20 minutes on the cross trainer on the weight loss program today. I'll probably do weights again tomorrow.

1/23/07

Sorry it's been so long. It's been a busy week.

We had our Chix retreat for ladies from church this weekend at the Brown County Inn in Nashville, IN. It was great! Very refreshing. I didn't eat real carefully, though. Nor did I eat carefully when I got home Saturday night, or Sunday while watching the Colts beat the Patriots, or Monday, for that matter. Today was much better. But, taking all that into consideration, I don't have high hopes for tomorrow's weigh-in. I just kinda went on auto-pilot, and didn't exercise any control. So, I'll probably reap what I sowed.

Back to working out yesterday. I rolled my ankle Sunday while cleaning the snow off the Explorer, and it still hurt yesterday, so I did a weight work-out. Today I did 20 minutes on the elliptical on the interval program. Tomorrow will be class or something aerobic.

1/16/07

337!

Down 2.6 lbs from last week. WooHoo! Yes, I weighed in a day early, but I had a good feeling. And I was right. Yay!

Haven't done my crunches and stretching yet, but will before I go to bed.

Had a nice lunch with my friend Kim today. A drug rep brought in lunch: salad, chicken tortellini with A LOT of cheese, and some sort of berry cobbler, and rolls. I filled up most of my plate with salad, and had just one good-sized serving spoon full of the chicken tortellini. No cobbler or rolls. I tried to put my fork down between each bite, and did so most of the time. I drank a lot of water, too.

1/15/07

Went to tone and tighten class today. We did legs and abs.

Eating went well today. I felt in control. Still room for improvement, especially at supper.

I'm having lunch with my friend Kim tomorrow, so I won't be working out at lunch. However, I will do some ab work and stretching at home.

1/13/07

I did it! I went to watch football at Kevin & Kelly's, and I made good food choices. And the Colts won. Go Colts!

I only had a few chips, maybe 10 or so, with a lot of salsa and a little spinach and artichoke dip. I had one of Kelly's delicious, generously sized enchiladas, and some rice and a piece of jalapeno corn bread. I was very satisfied with what I ate, but wanted another enchilada because they were so good. But instead, I just sat in the living room and watched the game. Then Kelly and I engaged in some good conversation about our shared food issues. It's good to know that other people share your struggle. I did allow myself a yummy brownie, with 2 small scoops of ice cream and a little whipped cream. I know, that doesn't sound like such a good choice. But I wasn't pigging out all night; I was in control. It really helped being with people who will help me be accountable. (Thanks, Kelly.)

Also, since I didn't eat a ton, there were enchiladas left over (not that I would have eaten all of them!) and Kelly sent a couple home with us. So, I still get my extra one, just at an appropriate time.

I'm up too late now, and kinda feeling like I want something to eat. I don't know that I'm actually hungry. So I'm drinking some water and trying to get my mind off it. I had to turn the channel from Food Network tonight while watching tv; it was making me want to eat.

1/12/07

I did something today that I've never done before. I climbed 4 flights of stairs without stopping! WooHoo! We started tone and tighten class today w/the stairs, and I was less than thrilled. But, once I did it with no breaks, I felt great about it! I was breathing like a racehorse for the rest of class, but I did it! Now, mind you, no one cares if I take a break. Every one, instructors and students alike, are SO supportive of me. They acknowledge and encourage me to adapt moves I can't do (yet) and to make substitutions, and to take breaks when needed. That is one of the things I really like about the fitness center. Lots of support and encouragement. And lots of different body types. Sure, there are hard bodies and buff folks, but there are fat people and old people and everything else. I don't think I've ever felt intimidated by anyone there.

Eating has been better, more controlled the last 2 days. I am considering my choices, and not just eating mindlessly.

1/10/07

339.8

Up 1lb. Hopefully, I can blame it on getting ready to start my period.

I have been controlled with my eating today. Good portion control. Had dinner before Art Reach, and kinda wanted a snack when I got home. And I have some 100 calorie packs of cookies, which wouldn't be too bad for me. But, if I just have my cup of hot tea, it adds NO calories, and will still probably satisfy me. And that's 100 less calories consumed. And a feeling of accomplishment.

Went to tone and tighten class. We did the stairs (4 flights), and an overall body work-out. Tomorrow will be cardio of some sort.

1/9/07

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I did work out on Friday; went to tone and tighten class, where we did butts and abs. Didn't do anything Saturday and Sunday. Monday, I had a doctor's apt, so I used part of my lunch for that. But I did pretty well with my eating. And my doctor was pleased with my weight loss. Today, I didn't feel well. Have a cold again. So I didn't work out. But, I was careful with my eating. Had a grilled chicken salad. Too much salad dressing, though. I will weigh in tomorrow. Was up a pound at the doctor's office Monday, but I hope it was water gain from the Chinese food I ate Sunday for dinner. I had a LOT of soy sauce. I know, it sounds like a lot of excuses. And it is. But in my slacking, I have made some good choices.

Below is a picture of a bracelet I made. I call it my "40 x 40" bracelet. I'm going to use it to remind myself of my goal of losing 40 pounds by the time I turn 40, which is 6 months from Saturday. There are 2 rows of 40 silver-lined glass beads [40 by 40, get it?! ;^)] between the 2 ruby jade stones. The rest is silver beads and liquid silver twisted tubes.

One of the thoughts that ran through my head was, I have until Saturday. I can eat all I want until then. But, that's what has gotten me here in the first place. Putting off what I want someday for what I want right now. Well, someday is almost here. So I'm going to do my best to make good choices now. Saturday will include some challenges, as we are going to a friend's house to watch the Colts play the Ravens in the playoffs, but I will eat a small breakfast, and really watch my portions during the game. Kelly, if your reading this, remind me of this on Saturday!

1/3/07

338.3

And that's before the gastro-intestinal virus hit. I should go weigh now!

Planned on working out today. Didn't want to, but planned on it anyway. Then I started getting stomach cramps. And everything exiting my body was liquid. Left work early, took some pepto and went to bed. Dinner seems to be doing okay; just some mild stomach cramping. Not sure if I'm going to work tomorrow or not; we'll see what the morning brings.

1/1/07

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am currently drinking a cup of hot tea, because I really wanted something to eat. I'm not hungry, mind you. Just wanted something. So a nice soothing cup of lemon tea will help my belly feel full, and give me something to do with my hands.

While devoting and journaling this morning, I realized that the goals I have set for myself this year (not resolutions, which I will surely break) require discipline and work, and cannot be achieved by myself. I will need help both from God and others. I want to continue to lose weight, eat better and work out, and work on getting out of debt. Both will be rewarding, but challenging. God and I are up to it.

Here's to a happy, healthy, blessed new year!

12/29/06

340.1

Not as bad as when I weighed in on Wednesday, and not as bad as it could have been. Gained 2 lbs over the holidays. Could have been worse.

I had pretty much determined before I went to work today that I wasn't going to work out. I got up late, and didn't devote before leaving work, so I wanted to do it at lunch. If I didn't, I had a sneaking suspicion that I wouldn't at all. And that is a very vital part of my day. I once heard a teacher say that he didn't always remember what he ate for breakfast, but it always nourished him, and that his Bible study time was like that. It is for me, too. And if I do it early in the day, it just sets a better tone for the day. And gives me something to think about most days, too.

I ate pretty well at work, then just carbed out at home. Just felt like I wanted to eat. A lot. That needs to end. I need to explore those feelings, and not just give in to them. I think I was tired, and feeling like, what the heck, I'm up a pound. The new year starts in 2 days; I have to change my habits.

12/27/06

Did 20 minutes on the cross trainer today. Also, did REALLY well with my eating, until I got home. I've got to break the habit (and it is a habit, not a need) of eating just because I am at home, and just because it is there. I figure that my combo of good and excessive eating probably balanced each other out, and I didn't lose or gain.

I did weigh today after my work out. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, but I'm still gonna wait until Friday for my official weigh-in.

Downloaded some new tunes for my work-out mix. I went to RollingStone magazine's site and checked out their listing of the 100 best songs of the year. I also looked at some stuff on CCM's site and Billboard as well.

12/26/06

Well, the gorge-fest has ended. I have let myself eat whatever, whenever these last few days. It must end. Although, I must say I've enjoyed it, for the most part. But is that really true? Several times I had a hard time deciding what to eat; since I've been eating so much, sometimes nothing really sounded good. I need to let my self get hungry again. And listen to my body for what it wants.

I am not going to weigh-in tomorrow. I'm certain I would not be happy with the results. I'm going to give myself a couple of days to detox, and I'll weigh in on Friday.

I will go the the gym tomorrow. Probably do a cardio machine, or possibly class. We'll see what the day brings.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

12/21/06

Weighed in at 339 yesterday, so I am still maintaining. Up .4 lb, but I'm okay with that.

Didn't work out yesterday or today. This is the last week I plan on letting myself slack off, so I may not work out tomorrow, either. It's been a long week, and I am tired. So I really probably shouldn't be up at 10:30 typing on my blog, but here I am.

12/19/06

Well, I've been sick, and I've been busy.

Got sick with a cold Wednesday evening. And was off from work with Sean, so didn't work out. Didn't feel well enough to want to work out Thursday and Friday.

I did start back on Monday, with 20 minutes on the cross trainer, on the weight loss mode. And today I took a walk out side, from work to Collett Park and back, about 1.2 miles. It was a hectic morning at work; we have a girl out sick, and Tuesday is just a busy day. So it did me much good to get out side and walk the morning off. Got to see some squirrels and fat little sparrows. And a little partly cloudy sunshine.

Weigh-in is tomorrow, so we'll see how I've done on the maintaining.

12/13/06

338.6 (or so)

I have met my goal of maintaining. I weighed after I had eaten, so I may have actually lost a little.

I was going to work out today, but stayed home from work to take Sean to the doctor, so ended up not working out. He was dizzy, and could not walk, so I had to drive him. Dr. thinks it is an acute virus causing vertigo, and gave him some anti-vertigo meds. He is down to just light headed now.

I did work out yesterday. 30 minutes on the elliptical, on a program that started low, went up, back down a little, up the same level, then back down. It seemed much harder, and I wanted to quit after 15 minutes. Pushed on, and then I only had 8 minutes to go, so might as well keep on. Doing the programs instead of the manual, one level thing is definitely challenging me. And that is good. Just hard.

Ate quite a bit at the party tonight. And had 2 cocktails. And desert. Sometimes you just gotta live!

12/11/09

I was kinda beating up on myself during my devotional time this morning. This is the scripture I journaled on:

14-16Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

Hebrews 4:14-16 (Message)

Jesus had food issues? I have a hard time imagining that. Perhaps the temptation and weakness that is like me is doubting that God will supply his needs. Will God supply more of whatever yummy food is calling my name, or should I just go ahead and gobble it all up now? So I need to work on trusting God that there will be more food when I want it. Eat just what I'm hungry for. Stop when I'm full. So much easier said than done.

I have decided to change my goal for this month. I will be content with maintaining my current weight. Good or bad, food is a huge part of holiday celebrations, and I want to stop being concerned with "good" and "bad" eating. I have beat myself up long enough; it is not productive. I will continue to work out, and try not to make a pig of myself, but I am going to enjoy myself, too. And guilt free, as best I can.

That being said, I did eat too much today. I've been feeling moody (PMS), and self-indulgent. Why does this all have to be so hard?

I did work out today. Two sets 15 each of seated chest press, bicep curls, triceps extensions, bent over flys, shoulder press and lower back extension.

12/9/06

Had a good work out this morning. Did 30 minutes on the cross trainer on the weight loss program. I like going up on Saturday mornings. It gets me up and going, and I like not having to go back to work afterwards. It's not rushed. I do like working out in the middle of the work day too, though. It is a great stress relief for bad days, and energizing to boot.

Yesterday I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, on a program that alternated really low and extremely high intensity. The high intensity part really kicked my butt!

Eating today has been okay. Not great, not terrible. No huge splurges. I did manage to eat a piece of fruit today. My goal for the next week or so is to eat at least 1 serving of fruit and 1 serving of veggies each day. Veggies besides potatoes, that is. I don't eat enough fruit or veggies. Once I get the one serving down, I'll increase it.

I've been reading some other blogs, and it is nice to see how normal I am. I'm not the only one who rewards a good eating day with eating. Kinda counter-productive, I know. But at least I'm not the only one with that struggle. Or who eats for any reason; happy, sad, bored, excited, whatever. A lot of us seem to struggle with the same things. I tend to think that I'm entitled to eat a lot. Well, then, I'm entitled to be fat! I need to start thinking that I'm entitled to be healthy and meet my goals.