A couple of days good, a couple of days not so good. The not good was mindful, though. Last night, I wanted chips and dip. So I bought it, and some cottage cheese, and ate it. And I enjoyed every bite. Tonight, it was Cheez-its. Way too many. This is pretty counter my goals. I need to make changes, but all I seem to make is excuses.
We are going out of town this week-end. I will allow myself freedom to eat, then buckle down again.
Spoke with my friend Darla today. She and I may start working out together again. She can bring a guest to a gym she goes to, and we used to go some when we worked in the same building. Since I can't afford the gym at work right now, that may be a good option.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
8/21/06
I have done well today. Feels like it's been a while since I could say that.
I pigged out Saturday night. Didn't really even think about what I was eating, or how much. Even kept eating when I wasn't really enjoying it. How stupid is that?!?!
I made myself a red macrame bracelet, to help me to be more mindful of my eating. Red, for the blood of Jesus, because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13). And red to STOP and think about what I'm doing. It's on my right wrist, so I see it all the time when I'm mousing and writing. So far today, I think it's helped.
Sean & I went for a walk today. About a mile. The weather is FABULOUS!
My friend Kim (Hi Kim!) asked me if I wanted to diet together with her. I said yes, because I need the accountability. We work in the same building. We are not going to do the same eating plan, but will encourage each other and pray for each other. And we'll weigh in together too. Probably on Wednesdays.
I pigged out Saturday night. Didn't really even think about what I was eating, or how much. Even kept eating when I wasn't really enjoying it. How stupid is that?!?!
I made myself a red macrame bracelet, to help me to be more mindful of my eating. Red, for the blood of Jesus, because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13). And red to STOP and think about what I'm doing. It's on my right wrist, so I see it all the time when I'm mousing and writing. So far today, I think it's helped.
Sean & I went for a walk today. About a mile. The weather is FABULOUS!
My friend Kim (Hi Kim!) asked me if I wanted to diet together with her. I said yes, because I need the accountability. We work in the same building. We are not going to do the same eating plan, but will encourage each other and pray for each other. And we'll weigh in together too. Probably on Wednesdays.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
8/17/09
345.1
At least I'm consistent.
Sunday night, at the altar, after a sermon on faith, I realized that I have little faith that I can actually pull this weight loss thing off. I can tell you all day long about losing weight, but I have failed so many times that I don't know if I really believe that I can do it. I have asked a couple of people to pray for me for that faith.
Then I found a glimmer of hope in Romans 7 & 8:
Romans 7:17-25 (The Message)
17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
Romans 8:1-14 (The Message)
1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.
3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.
The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. And now what the law code asked for but we couldn't deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us.
5-8Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.
9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!
12-14So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!
So stop focusing so much on myself. Focus on God. Focus on others. Get up and walk now and then.
I walked to and from lunch yesterday. 6 or 8 blocks each way. We parked 6 or so blocks away from where we went for dinner tonight, too. But before I break my arm patting myself on the back, I also medicated with food today. I was on edge, there was mac & cheese and hashbrown casserole left in the break room, and I ate some. And some croutons with ranch dressing. (Sounds odd, but if you've had Cracker Barrel's croutons, you'll understand.) I did it intentionally, and was miserable afterward, physically and emotionally.
But, I do still have that glimmer of hope. I'm not gonna give up. I will keep trying, and surely, eventually, I'll get it right. I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
At least I'm consistent.
Sunday night, at the altar, after a sermon on faith, I realized that I have little faith that I can actually pull this weight loss thing off. I can tell you all day long about losing weight, but I have failed so many times that I don't know if I really believe that I can do it. I have asked a couple of people to pray for me for that faith.
Then I found a glimmer of hope in Romans 7 & 8:
Romans 7:17-25 (The Message)
17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
Romans 8:1-14 (The Message)
1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.
3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.
The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. And now what the law code asked for but we couldn't deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us.
5-8Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.
9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!
12-14So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!
So stop focusing so much on myself. Focus on God. Focus on others. Get up and walk now and then.
I walked to and from lunch yesterday. 6 or 8 blocks each way. We parked 6 or so blocks away from where we went for dinner tonight, too. But before I break my arm patting myself on the back, I also medicated with food today. I was on edge, there was mac & cheese and hashbrown casserole left in the break room, and I ate some. And some croutons with ranch dressing. (Sounds odd, but if you've had Cracker Barrel's croutons, you'll understand.) I did it intentionally, and was miserable afterward, physically and emotionally.
But, I do still have that glimmer of hope. I'm not gonna give up. I will keep trying, and surely, eventually, I'll get it right. I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
8/11/06
345.6
Started the week at 345, too, after a blow-out eating week-end. Considering all I ate, it wasn't too bad.
I didn't eat well a couple of days this week, and I didn't exercise, and I stayed the same weight. So, if I actually get my butt off the recliner and exercise, and control my eating, I might actually lose. That is my goal for the next week. Specific amount? 2 lbs.
Pretty sure I'll miss the black scrub pants goal. Again.
Started the week at 345, too, after a blow-out eating week-end. Considering all I ate, it wasn't too bad.
I didn't eat well a couple of days this week, and I didn't exercise, and I stayed the same weight. So, if I actually get my butt off the recliner and exercise, and control my eating, I might actually lose. That is my goal for the next week. Specific amount? 2 lbs.
Pretty sure I'll miss the black scrub pants goal. Again.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
8/8/06
Weighed in every day last week. Started and ended the week at 343. No exercise last week. Too darn hot; I'm too darn lazy.
I ate WAY too much this week-end. Friday night especially. It was a choice; I did it knowingly, and I enjoyed it. Friday was the worst, not as bad on Saturday and Sunday. I'll weigh again Thursday or Friday.
I ate WAY too much this week-end. Friday night especially. It was a choice; I did it knowingly, and I enjoyed it. Friday was the worst, not as bad on Saturday and Sunday. I'll weigh again Thursday or Friday.
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