6/22/07

334.2

Down 1/2 lb from last week. Okay. Goal for next week, well, no specific weight goal. I want to be down. I want to pay more attention to my eating. Eat more slowly. Drink more water. Work out at least 2 times. I think that this is good; I haven't set any goals for a while.

I think part of the reason I am in my funk, mood, don't want to care attitude is that I am not going to reach my 40x40 goal. Like so many other things in my life, I started well, but didn't finish. Except, 40 doesn't have to be the finish line. Yes, it was a goal I had set for myself. And I missed it. And I am going to have to be okay with that. But I can set new goals, and just achieve them in a longer time. I'm still going to be 40 and FABULOUS!!!! My weigh doesn't change that!!!!!

So, I think the combo of stress/running at full steam all the time at work, not reaching my goals, and as much as I try to deny it, the number 40, have all contributed to my lackluster eating habits. I say 40 doesn't bother me, but I look at some other people around me, 40 or younger, and they seem to have accomplished so much more than I have. But let's look at what I have accomplished: I have a good marriage. I have a good paying, albeit currently stressful job. I have a great community of friends. I have started playing horn again, which fills a part of me that had been empty for a quite a while. And I seem to be developing a self-awareness that will serve me well. I have a husband and a core group of friends that help me keep things in perspective. They help me see that I'm both not so bad and not so great! Yeah, so I'm overweight. I'll eventually get to my goals. I do feel that I'm learning a lot along the way. Which may be the most important thing.

Gee, I can be really philosophical at midnight!