6.2.08

So what am I doing up at almost 1 am, writing on my blog? Well, I went to bed around 11. I've been staying up too late recently and wanted to go to bed earlier. So I turned in w/the DH. Went to sleep pretty easily. And just woke up a few minutes ago with the leg on the side I was sleeping on asleep. No big deal, right? Just turn over, you'll be fine. Ahh, but not so simple for my addled brain. For some reason, this throws me into a mild panic attack. Not full on, but I can feel the fear washing over me. I won't go into the specifics, because they're not the least bit rational, but I decided lying there in the dark wasn't the best thing to do, so I got up. I'll get on the computer awhile, and maybe watch some tv if I need too. I am really sleepy, though, so I hope I can go back to bed soon. This is the second attack I've had in the last month or so. Neither major, and in each I've been aware of what was going on. But I don't know why they've resurfaced. My fears all involve medical stuff. I know, I'm in the wrong profession. I've been pretty caffeinated this week-end. This whole week, actually. And recently one of my good friends lost her mother. And today, I met a woman much younger than me who is living through the end of a fatal disease. So maybe those things have triggered my obsessions. Whatever it is, I didn't want to lie there in the dark and ruminate. And I WILL NOT go get on WebMD. Sometimes a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

So anyway, I did pretty well with my eating today. Great breakfast, big lunch, too many cocktail weenies wrapped in croissants in green room, but veggies and lots of fruit. Two pieces of pizza and more fruit for dinner after church, and one bite of Sean's cake. Not great, but not too bad. Heavy on the salt, though. Need to be more careful of that, and drink more water.

I'm finally going to community band rehearsal tonight. I practiced some Saturday. I used a different mouth piece with a slightly wider lip; we'll see how that does with stamina. I may switch back to the other. And this will be the first time since college that I've used a double horn. Weighs more. Weight was an issue last year, just because I hadn't played in so long. And that was with a single. So we'll see how it goes. I won't be surprised if I'm sore on Tuesday.

I'm getting pretty sleepy, so we'll try this bed thing again. Wish me luck.