4/28/06

First, the good news. I brought my cholesterol down to 212 from 236! Dr says to keep up the low fat diet, and we'll check again in 6 months.

However, I gained 3 lbs, to 345.1.

I was doing really well with eating today. Ate slowly, ate when I was hungry. At dinner, Sean cooked fabulous pork chops, and I took my time to eat. Then, around 9:30, after trying to talk myself out of it for a while, I decided that I was hungry, and ate 2 leftover sandwiched from Panera that I brought home from work.

I know what I need to do to lose weight. Why can't I make myself do it? Why does it have to be so hard? Is it because so many other things come easily to me, that I don't know how to work for something? It's just so frustrating. It seems like I should just be able to eat less. I don't want to look like this forever. I want the outside of my body to match what I see inside. AAUUUGGHH!!!