At least I am becoming aware of why I overeat. Perhaps that awareness will lead to change.
It was a stressful day at work, for such a slow day. People we kinda dingy. Obtuse. Annoying. I ate a huge bagel w/a bunch of cream cheese, purely to medicate myself. And then I ate some cranberry orange toast w/butter right before dinner. Wasn't all that hungry, and I was making dinner. Just wanted to eat.
I think I can turn this into a good thing. Part of my wants to just say, "screw it," and keep eating too much and getting fatter. But the more rational part of me knows that I need to keep trying. No matter how many times I fail. I need to make my outside match what I see inside. I want to be healthier. I want to buy cheap cute clothes. (You can get cute big-girl clothes, but you pay a pretty penny.)
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I need a place to be honest and real. This is it. I'm going to be honest about my weight (!), my eating, my exercising; everything. And it will probably hurt. But I think it will be a good thing.
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