4/28/07

Haven't posted much lately because I haven't been working out much lately, and have been eating pretty poorly. Yesterday wasn't too bad, though. I wanted to eat more after dinner, even though I was full. But I was watching What Not To Wear, and didn't want to get up, and then fell asleep in the recliner afterwards. At any rate, I didn't eat more, so it's all good!

Here's what I'm noticing lately, especially this morning. When I start to eat, I don't want to stop. This morning, I had a bagel w/about 2 oz. reduced fat cream cheese and a sprinkle of Parmesan for breakfast. Good portion, nothing excessive. But when I was done, even though I was satisfied hunger-wise, I wanted more to eat. Specifically, toast slathered in butter. I gave some thought to having some. But I knew I wasn't really hungry, so I stayed in bed, where I was eating breakfast and watching TV (gotta have my Lester Holt on Saturday mornings, don't 'cha know) and didn't eat anything else. I kept thinking about it for awhile, prayed about it, and eventually it passed. So I can resist the urges, it's just that most of the time, I don't.

Not sure what the answer here is. I think if I slow down and savor my food more, it will help with the sensual part of eating. Really pay attention to what I'm eating, how it tastes and feels, and makes me feel. I never did finish that mindful eating book, but that is part of what I read in it. Also, instead of eating whatever is easy, I'm going to try to figure out what I really want. And then take my time with it and really enjoy it.

So, that's just kinda what's going on in my head today. I was thinking about keeping real strict track of what I eat, and sending e-mails home from work to record it, but I don't know if I will or not. I think with me, it is more about my emotions and feelings, or desire to escape them, and it may be more important to study why I eat than what I eat. Yes, of course, I do need to make better choices. But I think the most important choices for me right now are about portions.