4/11/06

Well, today went better. I watched my portions carefully, even at dinner. We went for Thai, and I probably ate a little too much of my Pad Thai, but not by much. Sean bought some Reese's Bites for desert, and I had only 4. A serving is aproximately 16. The 4 had roughly 55 calories and 3 g fat. I exercised portion control. I feel better about myself tonight.

I walked at lunch again today. Walked yesterday, too, then did yard work. I will go to tone and tighten class tomorrow at lunch. Thursday, I'm going to lunch w/girlfriends, and might walk that evening, or do some weights and abs. Not sure what I'll do Friday; might go the the park and walk if it is nice, since I have the day off. Or might wait to see if Sean wants to walk.

I think it might help if I try to get on here more often, even if I don't write much. I said I wanted a place to be honest. I guess that should include bad days, too.

4/10/06

Weighed last Friday. Down .1 lb. I don't think that really counts.

I do pretty well with my eating at work, but at home, I just eat way too much. Ate too much tonight, too. I'll keep trying. It's kinda discouraging. I feel like I just don't have enough will power or desire. I want to lose weight, but I don't want to work for it. I do well, then beat myself up. That's a bad cycle. How do I break it?

4/1/06

It's been over 2 weeks since I last wrote. Wonder why that is? I've been off on a FABULOUS vacation in France!

April Fool's!

Really, I've been eating poorly and not working out much. Last time I weighed I was at 344.9. We've had carry-in's at work, and I've just not felt like working out. Probably because I've been making poor eating choices. It's a vicious circle.

But back up on the horse again. I have made very good choices all day today. I went to bed last night thinking I'd have oatmeal for breakfast. Start out right, and see how much weight I can lose in the next 2 weeks before Easter and before I get a shorter hair cut. But, when I got up, I was not in the mood for oatmeal. I did see 2 snack sized bags of potato chips, and thought I might have a potato chips sandwich. But then I would feel really bad about myself. Not a good way to start the day. Plus, I was going shopping later and didn't want to feel fatter. I looked in the freezer and found the Aldi's version of lean pockets, Southwestern Veggie, and it made a fine breakfast. Only 5g of fat; low cal, too. I had 2 T of sour cream with it, too. I continued to make good choices the rest of the day, down to the Aldi's version of a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich (130 cal, 1.5g fat) that I just had for desert.

I got a cute skirt at Fashion Bug, both for Easter and a wedding I'm going to attend this summer. I got a tee and a tank to wear with it. The tee is a little bit snug right now, which is part of the see how much I can lose in 2 weeks thing. Plus, with the shorter hair, I'd like to lose some more chin.

3/14/06

Continued my excessive eating on Sunday. So on Monday, I conducted and experiment of sorts, to get my self back on track. I ate oatmeal for breakfast, then had only soup or juice the rest of the afternoon. When I got home from work, I had soup almost immediately, since I was ravenous and cranky. Then I was hungry again in like half an hour. So I had a sandwich and some chips. I still think I did well, and I felt in control most of the time. So if I could be that controlled yesterday, I thought it would help me continue being controlled. I did well today with my eating.

Worked out today on the new piece of equipment at the fitness center. It's the Total Body Arc Trainer by Cybex. You can click on a link to see it in action. I did 20 minutes, and it was a very good work-out. A different motion that the elliptical. It felt like it worked the hips/legs in a different place. I did the manual mode, no incline or resistance. I will defininately do that machine again.

I tried V-8 juice today. I've never liked tomato juice before, but my tastes have changed, and I love tomato soup, so I thought I'd give it a try. It was a little weird at first, but I liked it. I had a 12oz can. 70 calories, no fat. I went to the store after work and got a 6 pack of small cans. 30 calories each. I got the spicy kind. I thought it might be good warm, with my 100 calorie pack of Cheez-Its.

3/11/06

I think I just ate a large carton of cottage cheese because I coundn't find a coat I wanted to buy. I mean, I know I ate the cottage cheese. And half a bag of chips. But I'm pretty sure the reason why is that I went shopping, and just didn't find the coat I wanted. I was kinda bummed. I have money; I wanted to spend it. But I just didn't find the coat I wanted.

And I was doing pretty well eating up till then. I had rice w/mushroom soup and mushrooms for breakfast, and a crunchwrap from Taco Bell for lunch. I know I'm probably not going to eat well tonight at poker, so I was trying to be a little sparse in my eating. But then I ate the cottage cheese. And I knew exactly what I was doing. And I did it anyhow. So how do we overcome emotional eating?

I have been working out well this week. 4 times at lunch. And while shopping today, I parked at Dress Barn, and walked all the way down the strip mall to Goody's and Kohls.

I'm not giving up, though. I will keep on working out. And I'll keep trying with food. I don't fail until I fail to try again.

I weighed in on Friday. 344. Up 1.5 pounds. I'd like to attribute it to my period, but more likely it is my eating.

3/2/06

Well, another week where it is hard to get my eating on track. It is so hard once you stop making good choices. What I need to do is stop making excuses.

I am working out 3 or 4 times a week. My weight has stayed the same (342.5); I was weighed at the doctor's office Tuesday. I did do my measurements again, and I am down 9.75 inches total since October 05. My thighs and calfs actually went up a little this time. We have been doing a lot of legs in Tone and Tighten.

Here is the REALLY great news. We bought me a vehicle!!!!! 94 Ford Explorer. Green, with tan interior. Paid for with cash, so no car payments! It runs a little rough, but it is 12 years old. The interior is in better condition than one might expect. You cannot unlock the driver's side door; you have to unlock from the passenger's side. And tonight, sometimes the driver's side wasn't locking at all. I'll need to get that fixed. I can probably get a part at a junk yard.

It's really nice not having to ride the bus for 1 1/2 hours. And Sean is enjoying not having to pick me up.

2/20/06

I actually managed to lose 1/2 pound this week. 342.5. I was very surprised. Now just 2 1/2 pounds to be back where I was. I did really well with my eating today. And I've gotten in at least 64 ounces of water.

We did lower body again today in class. Wednesday will be upper body. I'm gonna go on Wednesday, and take Thursday off. I'll do elliptical or treadmill tomorrow. Gotta remember to take my mp3 player, and something to read.

I think I'm gonna change weigh-in to Fridays. It will give me time to atone for the sins of the week-end! ;^) And, if I've lost, hopefully it will help me make good choices on the week-end.

2/15/06

As I expected, the news was not good on the scales Tuesday. 343.1. Ouch! But, that's what I get for eating too much and not working out.

It is hard to get back into the good eating habit. I did poorly yesterday, and just so-so today. My goal is GOOD for tomorrow.

The working out is back on track, though. Went to class Monday. Hips and thighs, with some abs thrown in for good measure. I am so sore. I did 20 (!) minutes on the elliptical on Tuesday. Took today off, and will do either elliptical or treadmill tomorrow, and class on Friday.

Valentine's Day was lovely. Sean brought me roses, balloons and my favorite gum at work. And he bought me a book, Blue Like Jazz, that is overdue from the library, so now I can finally return theirs!

2/11/06

I didn't have high hopes when I got on the scale Tuesday, what with my Super Bowl binging and all, but I was down 1/2 pound, to 339.8. I don't have high hopes for next Tuesday, either. I've been sick all week, and haven't felt like working out. And I've eaten like a pig. So I don't expect the same pleasant surprise I got last week. Oh well, back on track now.

Katchoo was sick this week too. She has crystals in her urine. Cats are pretty prone to urinary tract problems. She now has to drink distilled water. No more drinking out of the bathroom faucet for her. I ordered her a recirculating water dish on e-bay. It is similar to this, but the water shoots up instead of flowing down. She should love it! She has to have special food now, too. $30 a bag food. But it is a 16 pound bag, which should last about 5 months. She has to go back to the vet next month for another urinalysis and a shot. I'm going to let them collect the urine sample this time. Not so easy getting a urine sample from a cat. And she has to take medicine. I could choose from 1 pill a day or drops twice a day, and opted for the drops. When she had to get her worm pill at the vet last year, she REALLY didn't like it, so drops seemed the better option. Not that she likes that, either.

1/31/06

Down to 340.2! WooHoo! That's a total of 11 lbs. I really didn't expect much when I got on the scales today; maybe just to be back where I was before my binge week. What a surprise!

I really saw how hard it was to get back on track after binging for so long. A meal here or there isn't too bad, say once a week or so. But after a whole week, it would have been very easy to chuck it all. I just gotta keep at it.

Did the elliptical today for 15 minutes. I'm gonna bump it up to 20 next week. May or may not go to class tomorrow. Thursday elliptical again, and class on Friday.

I'm trying to get my oatmeal in each day; I maybe get 4 out of 7 days a week. Some people at church mentioned fish oil capsules can help raise good cholesterol and lower bad, so I'm gonna try that.

My Mom is getting hooked up w/my brother-in-law's wireless internet (he lives across the street from her). So she'll finally get to see this sight. That will be cool.

1/25/06

Been a few days since I've had time to blog. Been a bad few days, eating-wise, too. I ate too much Friday, too much Saturday, and too much Monday, resulting in a 3 lb weight gain. 346.2 today. Yesterday, too. But I weighed again today to see if it had come off since I ate better yesterday. Like 1 day is going to undo 3 or 4 days damage. But on the good side, I did get in some cardio on Monday. We went to Casino Aztar, and the poker room is on the 1st level. So every time I had to go to the bathroom, I would go up at least 1 flight of stairs and go to the bathroom at the opposite end of the boat. I did 5 flights of stairs (not all at once). And, the stairs did not seem as hard as the last time I was there. I haven't done the stairs at work lately, since my back has been spasming. Hopefully, they'll seem easier soon, too. They are kinda steep, and I think that's why the are still pretty hard. And I'm always carrying stuff.

1/19/06

Had my annual doctor's appointment yesterday. Dr. Andreasen was happy with my weight loss, but my cholesterol is up where he is thinking about treating it medically. I do not want to treat it medically. So I'm eating oatmeal every day for the next 3 months, when we will check it again. I think with the working out and eating better, it will come down.

The drug rep brought lasagna(!) for lunch today. I was counting on her for her usual grilled chicken and side. I had one piece, and one piece of garlic bread. No salad. The portions must have been okay, because I was hungry by 3:30. I did have a nice salad for supper, with chicken and eggs and a little bacon and a few croutons, and fat free French and ranch dressing. If you haven't tried the French/ranch combo, you should.

Today was a day off from working out. I'll go to class again tomorrow. And I have to remember to stretch before bed tonight. I wake up feeling so much better when I do.

1/16/06

I did well with eating over the week-end. Week-ends are always a challenge. I made some really good chicken noodle soup on Saturday. Fat free broth, mushrooms, carrots, celery, zucchini, chicken & noodles. Nummy, and low fat. I did have a couple of big hunks of French bread w/real butter.

Sunday, I had pizza twice. But each time, I was very careful to eat only 2 slices. That seems to be a "normal" sized portion. I ate slowly, and really enjoyed it.

Today, about 15 points as of the end of work. We're having pork chops and broccoli, carrots, pasta & cheese sauce. It's a prepackaged Green Giant thing. It doesn't have too much fat per serving (4g) considering the cheese sauce.

Did legs, back and chest at the fitness center today. Then, Sean & I went for a walk after work for about 15 minutes at Deming Park. Good way to relax after a "challenging yet rewarding" day at work.

My boss noticed that I looked like I'm losing weight thru my torso today, and asked me about it. Yay!

1/13/06

Well, today sure started out like Friday the 13th. I got up late (nothing unusual about that) and rushed out the catch the bus. In the rain. With my umbrella. The bus got railroaded (nothing unusual about that in Terre Haute, either). Got on my second bus. It got railroaded, and the train stopped. Late once already this week because of the bus, I decided to walk, even though it was raining, so that I would be on time. It was about this time that I realized I left my umbrella on the first bus. The second bus driver called the first, and he'll keep it for me until Tuesday. In the meantime, I had to walk 6 blocks in the rain. It wasn't raining hard, but it was annoying. And then Friday mornings at work are just hectic. 6 or 7 docs are in at once, and it is just busy. And now we have a girl going to the south office everyday, so we are down one person. And we don't have a medical records girl, so one of the 4 girls left is in the back a lot. And I messed up an appointment. But oh well. The day got better.

Back on track today. Made (mostly) good eating choices, and worked out. Went to tone & tighten at lunch. We did biceps, triceps, inner and outer thighs and abs. And even though the evil loaded baked potato mashed potatoes were left-over in the break room, I chose to eat the orange I brought instead. I had too many meatballs tonight when we made meatball sandwiches. But, they were turkey, so not as bad as they could have been. Still definitely need to work on portion and impulse control.

01/12/06

I ate WAY too much today. We had a drug rep lunch at work today. But Sean and I were going out for lunch, so it wasn't so bad, at first. I did have 1 spoonful of wonderful loaded baked potato mashed potatoes. We went to George's for lunch, and I had a gyro and 1/2 an order of fries. I had 1 cookie from the lunch when I got back to the office. Not so bad. I'm sure I blew my points out of the water, but I was controlling my portions. I figured we'd go for a walk after work, and I'd have a salad for dinner.

Then it came time for my afternoon snack. And instead of something sensible, like the oatmeal or orange I brought to work for just such an occasion, I got another (big) spoonful of potatoes, and some pasta salad. Pretty much filled up a dinner plate. I was miserable afterwards, physically and emotionally. I have done so well for a week and a half, and I blew it today. I want to remember that feeling, both of being too full and being disappointed in myself. I need to make that work for me. My body seems to be getting used to frequent, smaller meals. That much, and that many carbs all at once was not a good thing.

We did go for a walk after work, at Collett Park. Not real long, 15 or 20 minutes, but up and moving none the less. And it was so nice to see the sun today. We saw 3 squirrels, too.

1/10/06

One week of "good". Weighed today...down 3 pounds for the week! 344.4. WooHoo!
I measured, too, and I'm down 7.9 inches total since October. And down 7 pounds total since November.

I felt so skinny today! I know you can't see 3 pounds on someone my size, but it felt good. And made me want to work out. Normally, I just tolerate it. I did 15 minutes on the elliptical. My mp3 player made it go much faster. It took a little better than 4 songs for 15 minutes. I sprinted once during each song, usually for the chorus. And I went backwards once during each song. Tomorrow is a day off from working out. We have a lunch meeting. I'll do cardio Thursday, and class on Friday.

I'm checking into a way to link to a chart of my weight loss and inch loss. I consulted a very web-savvy friend of mine for help. So stay tuned for further developments.

1/8/06

I've done pretty well today. Good breakfast, 6 points. Tried sugar free MDX today, and liked it. It's an energy drink. It seemed to do it's job. Had 2 bowls of Sean's chicken and rice for lunch, which was probably too much. Then had another bowl before church. After church, we had flatbread, hummus an feta cheese. And I had a 100 calorie pack of Chips Deluxe. All in all, not too bad. I should have just had one bowl of the rice. Oh, I had butter on some of the rice, too. I bought some I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray tonight, so I can get that flavor w/o the calories.

Church was good in both services today. I led worship in middle school this morning, and we went to eXchange tonight. The music was AWESOME tonight, and the sermon hit me in several different ways. Mostly, be content with who others are, and be content with who you are. Both of which are a little hard for me sometimes.

I have an adorable kitty kat on the computer desk keeping me company!

1/7/06

Still on the "good" track. Last night, went w/the girls after work to Charlie's Pub & Grub to celebrate Sandy passing her boards for her LPN. I had 1 drink, diet w/rum and lime. And got the chicken strip basket w/tots. Yes, it was all fried, but it was about portion control. And I ate slowly and savored it. I wanted something sweet when I got home, so I had one of my 100 calorie packs of Chips Deluxe. You really get quite a few cookies in there!

I was craving mayo yesterday. I had 1 tablespoon on my salad, mixed with some Pampered Chef dill mix. It was good, but not nearly enough. So today I bought some reduced fat mayo. I was looking for fat free, hoping that if I mixed stuff w/it it would taste okay, but K-mart didn't have any. Odd. I really don't like much fat free stuff. It tastes plastic-y.

I don't think it is just my influence, but many of the girls at work are going up to the fitness center now. You know, first of the year, want to lose weight. But I'm glad for the companionship, and accountability.

I'm feeling really good about so many "good" days in a row. I know I will indulge again. But getting a week under my belt will make me feel like I can achieve it. It is a good start.

Jimmy John's has been my friend the last few days. Thursday, I got a Vito for dinner, and stayed within my points for the day. Today at lunch, I got a Tuna Club. May exceed my points for the day, but I will be working w/portion control. I should have picked the Sorry Charlie, which has a little less tuna, and no cheese. I found a web site, here, that has point values for tons of stuff, including a lot of restaurants.

No exercise today. Although Sean is usually parking far from the door when we shop. Yesterday I did the tone & tighten class at the fitness center. My hamstrings are paying for it today! But it is a good ache. Next week I'm going back to 4 days a week; Monday and Friday cardio, and Tuesday and Thursday weights.

1/4/06

Another "good" day. Did well with my points, and pretty good with my portions. Still room for improvement, but eating much less.

I weighed today. 347.4. So I pretty much maintained during my New Year's week-end pig out. Which indicates to me that if I eat well, and actually exercise, I will lose weight. Who'd a thunk it?

I did 2 set of (mostly) 15 reps of upperbody weights today. On a couple of the last sets, I could only do 12.

Phil. 4:13 rocks!

1/3/06

So far, so good today. I did 15 minutes on the elliptical. I stuck to my points during the day, and watched my portions at night. Still room for improvement. I don't need so much butter or so much mayo for my fish. But still, steps in the right direction. I need to acknowledge the bad, and try to fix it, but not fixate on it.

If I really want something else to eat tonight, esp. something sweet, I have some rice cakes. Carmel corn flavor. Don't remember if I like them or not. If not, I'll give them to a girl at work.

Now, this week-end was a different story. I have to stop thinking, I'll do it tomorrow. It is tomorrow. I need to make changes now. I can enjoy food, but I just don't need so much. Food can be part of a celebration, but it doesn't need to be the entire celebration. I need to be "good" on week-ends just like week days. My goal? To string together a week of being "good". Just 1 week of doing what I know is right. Doesn't sound like it should be that hard, huh? But it is. 1 day down, 6 to go.